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3/3/2015 - NPD Facebook Post / 3.3.15 / Too Bad Tuesday
Hi everyone,

Happy Tuesday – Looks like we are on the brink of yet more snow…. I will try to take your mind off of this with a fresh new addition of “Too Bad Tuesday”…. We have some good ones here for you today…and each has a little lesson to be learned at the end…because – after all…these should be informative and educational….

Here is our usual disclaimer: "All persons in these segments are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law and we reserve the right to change the names of those involved (if names are used at all) to protect the innocent" ... With that – I bring to you – a very rare – “TUESDAY” edition of “Too Bad Tuesday”!!...

On March 2nd Officer McGarvey served an arrest warrant on on an individual stemming back to January 31 of this year, in which the man was involved in a bit of a fender bender on Galpin Street… The individual had struck a parked car….and decided it would be best not to hang around and wait for owner of the car to come out …or the police to come around….and he left.
The investigating officers – Officer McGarvey and Bertola spoke with the victim who advised she was inside her residence when she heard “a very loud bang come from outside”…. she went to her window to see what happened, and saw her vehicle had been struck in the rear and observed another motor vehicle leaving the scene of the accident….
Officers checked the area but were unable to locate the fleeing vehicle, but based on evidence left behind at the scene – the Naugatuck PD CSI unit (AKA: Patrol officers McGarvey and Bertola…) analyzed the evidence from our pristine mobile CSI unit which includes big cushy chairs, glass dividers and cool computers that take a simple piece of evidence and scroll though hundreds of thousands of pictures until the picture of the person that committed the crime appears on the screen…all of this of course happening within 30 minuets – INCLUDING commercial breaks….

…..NOT!! …..

McGarvey and Bertola used the simple observations of sight …. No magic computers needed… and determined that the fleeing vehicle would have heavy front end damage and also obtained a vehicle color based on paint transfer left on the victims car…they did by the way determine this in less than 30 minuets…including commercial breaks….

…The next day, based on the vehicle description provided to our officers, Officer Carl Schaaf …Yes THE Officer Carl Schaaf - “He’s a bad moththa’ – SHUT YOUR MOUTH” - Officer Schaaf. … located a vehicle while patrolling the next day that matched the description…including the heavy damage to the front end of the vehicle…Officers Schaaf spoke with the owner of the car – who recalled that he had struck another vehicle on Galpin street the day prior….The individual stated that he dropped his “dip-bottle”… …yes – “Dip –Bottle”…. as in chewing tobacco dip… I have nothing further to add to that statement …. …..which caused his vehicle to swerve into the parked vehicle…he then “became scared” and fled the scene.

Lesson learned here folks…
- Do Not leave the scene of an accident…
- We DO NOT have a CSI unit ….nor do we have a pristine CSI mobile unit…but WE DO have very - -intelligent and ambitious officers that WILL track you down if you do leave the scene of an accident!
- Officer Schaaf is a Bad-Motha-Shut-your-mouth
And finally…
- Don’t do chewing Tabaco… because it requires the use of a “Dip-Bottle” …and as you can see – nothing good happens when you use a “Dip-Bottle”…. I have nothing further to add to that statement ….




On February 23, at about 4:15 PM Officer Bory’s was dispatched to 1100 New Haven Road…. Wal-mart…. for a complaint of….you guessed it – SHOPLIFTING!!… Officer Borys was advised that Asset Protection (…Is it me or do the store detective titles change every week??....)…. Anyway, …The Asset Protection Associate (here – on referred to as “ASA”…) had one male party in custody…. The ASA advised that he observed the subject conceal items on his person from the sporting good section and then exit the store…. Upon stopping the subject the APA recovered about $45.00 worth of stolen items including “shoe laces, ear phones, and a multi-card reader” …(…I agree – its an odd combination of items…).
…while Officer Borys spoke with the “APA”, the male suspect advised officer Borys that he had infact stolen from the store…and then asked Officer Borys if he could “pay a fine in place of being arrested….

….Okay folks…Let’s stop the bus here a moment and talk…. Seems as though this individual has it backwards… See, twenty plus years as a police officer and Ive always said – everything we really need to know about life we learn in K through 2nd grade… …Don’t Lie, be respectful, Learn to add to 20 or so…subtract at least from 10….and of course, know about consequences of our actions… you know, like the segment on Sesame Street…”What Happens Next” ….
….So, lets get this straight, what this individual did was “STEAL”…and then asked to pay a fine instead of being arrested …. …So lets go on the assumption that this person just HAS to steal…its just something in his blood….So – that being the case….if he had just paid for the items… he could have then pretended in his head that he stole them ….and that the nice lady at the register was the judge…who he then was paying his fine to….Doesn’t that seem to make a lot more sense???

Lesson learned here folks….The shoplifter was in fact placed under arrest …we don’t do not issue tickets for shoplifting…
Oh – and by- the- way…. he was booked into the Inn…. provided with no towels, bathrobe, soaps or shampoo…for obvious reasons….





On February 25 at about 8:30 PM Officer Bertola and Officer Kehoss were dispatched to the Haven Road, Dunkin D-Words on a report of a person in the drive through lane…”acting strangely”…now this was not the “acting Strangely” that the D&D employees see all the time when me or Detective Paul Markette go through the drive through…you know – all giddy and laughing like two school girls in anticipation of picking up one or two… dozen…. various variety -tasty D-Words…No – this – this was REAL “Acting Strangely”…The D&D employees advised that a vehicle drove up to the drive thru order screen abd thye were able to observe the operator through the D&D “D-Word Cam” which is located at the order screen…The employees advised that they observed the operator “falling asleep” and that she appeared to be very confused and incoherent as she was not able to clearly say what she wanted to order…Now again…I have been there …I’ve been at the window of D&D and been so excited about my impending purchase – that the words just cant seem to formulate and come off the tongue right… and for the record…I have done this while extreamly tired as well … so no one here wanted to jump the gun and assume ANYTHING before it was checked out….
…Officers Bertola and Kehoss arrived and made contact with the operator and confirmed that she appeared to be able to verbalize coherent words and sentences… They also observed that she displayed glassy and bloodshot eyes… this of course NOT being a sign of pre-d-word-eating euphoria…. ..The operator was asked to perform some field sobriety testing…of which she did not do well with….and subsequently, was booked into the NPD B&B….
Lesson learned here folks… The local D&D is NOT the place you want to go if you want to avoid “the law”… my suggestion…drive sober….


Okay - That wraps up today's edition of "Too Bad Tuesday" ...have a great rest of your Tuesday and remember ... the men and women of the NPD will be here if you need us...